What About Princess Joe Versus the Hunt for the Field of Future Cinderella?

A Play in One Act*

"Good morning, Gil."
"What are you sayin, Ray?"
"You’re not going to make me say that again, are ya?"
"Okay…Calvin…Marty…Klein"
"My name is Joseph or Joe!"
"But in your office you said that I could call you Doctor Marvin."
"You’re killin’ me, Smalls."
"You’re in a rotten mood."
"It’s the sunshine, gets me down."
"Did I tell you, the first time I met you, I thought I’d seen you before?"
"That’s heavy."
"You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
[noise outside] "Good Morning America is here."
"Cinderella, answer the dooooooorrrrr."
"Baby steps to the door."
[Opens door.] "Hello Patricia."
"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
"Live like a king, die like a man. That’s what I always say."
"Oh, ha, ha. Very funny guys."
"Would ya like to hear it again?"
"Yes, yes."
"I’m George McFly. Your density."
"Ah, that’s so sweet." [Pause, then] "Is this heaven?"
"It’s Iowa."
"Welcome to the new world."
"I would like to have seen Montana." "Can I go now?"
"It’s always gonna be something with you, isn’t it, Joe.?"
"I’m just not very good at…confrontation."
"You need a vacation."
"I’m ON vacation!"
"But…still…"
"I gotta go." [Leaves]
"I’m gonna miss that little bugger."

*My family's existence defined.