If I may just rant for a moment . . .
. . . . regarding:
Gifts
If you give me a gift and I am going to have to install it, assemble it, paint it, build it, refurbish it, or do anything more than unfold it and put it on, open it and read it, unwrap it and eat it, or just set it on a shelf, then do not give me any crap when I have not done any of the first five aforementioned things. It's a gift. Unless you are God, I am not obligated to use it. ESPECIALLY if I didn't ask for it. I may very well want to install it, assemble it, paint it, build it or refurbish, but just have not found the time. Or I might think it was nice of you to THINK I'd have the wherewithall to undertake a project and complete it before I die, but I'm just not interested. I'll thank you and be gracious. But don't nag me about it. You don't know my obligations. It's not a gift if there are strings attached. We've all seen that episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond."
E-mails
I do not check my e-mails daily. If you send me an e-mail that contains information that is a priority for you and I do not respond in a day or two, then please feel free to pick up the phone and call me. I have two phones - a cell and a landline. I will respond to this, if not immediately, then as quickly as I can. But e-mail is not my primary mode of communication. Telling me, however "sweetly and gently," to check it more regularly is inappropriate on your part. I have not told you to use this as a way of getting important information to me. I do not work in an office where e-mail is the accepted method of communicating alot of important information. E-mail does not help me accomplish the goals of my daily job - raising children, running my home, being a good wife. As a matter of fact - quite the opposite. So please don't send out a group e-mail with my name on it, containing information to which you have not directly addressed me, never pick up the phone to call me, and then be annoyed with me for not responding.
Advice
If you profer advice to me four, five or 15 times and I don't take it, there is a VERY high probability that I am NEVER going to take it. That may be because I don't think I need it, I don't like it, or I just don't care. I may have a very good reason for not taking your advice. Or I may not. Either way, I'm an adult now, and I don't have to take advice if I don't want to - even if that advice might, in your opinion, make my life easier, make me thinner, make me happier, or make me a better parent. I'm not telling you to never open your mouth and make suggestions - this the rightful purvue of any loving family member or friend. But, if after several tries, I do not appear to be taking your advice, it is not because I didn't hear you the first, second, and third time. You are no longer offering your wisdom, you are nagging. I probably have a different opinion about what it is you are suggesting and it's possible (though, after this post, you may think it unlikely) that I am trying to be polite and refrain from pointing out everything that is patently wrong with your idea. Don't push it!
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Okay, all better now. Thank you for indulging me. Now that that is off my chest and I have told everyone to get over themselves, I will go back to trying to get over myself.
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Disclaimer: If you are one of the lucky individuals who just finished reading this rant, please do not be offended. I doubt that it was directed at any of you. Those to whom it was directed have never, and I'm 99.9% sure won't ever read this post, which is why I put it here. I just needed to vent.
Gifts
If you give me a gift and I am going to have to install it, assemble it, paint it, build it, refurbish it, or do anything more than unfold it and put it on, open it and read it, unwrap it and eat it, or just set it on a shelf, then do not give me any crap when I have not done any of the first five aforementioned things. It's a gift. Unless you are God, I am not obligated to use it. ESPECIALLY if I didn't ask for it. I may very well want to install it, assemble it, paint it, build it or refurbish, but just have not found the time. Or I might think it was nice of you to THINK I'd have the wherewithall to undertake a project and complete it before I die, but I'm just not interested. I'll thank you and be gracious. But don't nag me about it. You don't know my obligations. It's not a gift if there are strings attached. We've all seen that episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond."
E-mails
I do not check my e-mails daily. If you send me an e-mail that contains information that is a priority for you and I do not respond in a day or two, then please feel free to pick up the phone and call me. I have two phones - a cell and a landline. I will respond to this, if not immediately, then as quickly as I can. But e-mail is not my primary mode of communication. Telling me, however "sweetly and gently," to check it more regularly is inappropriate on your part. I have not told you to use this as a way of getting important information to me. I do not work in an office where e-mail is the accepted method of communicating alot of important information. E-mail does not help me accomplish the goals of my daily job - raising children, running my home, being a good wife. As a matter of fact - quite the opposite. So please don't send out a group e-mail with my name on it, containing information to which you have not directly addressed me, never pick up the phone to call me, and then be annoyed with me for not responding.
Advice
If you profer advice to me four, five or 15 times and I don't take it, there is a VERY high probability that I am NEVER going to take it. That may be because I don't think I need it, I don't like it, or I just don't care. I may have a very good reason for not taking your advice. Or I may not. Either way, I'm an adult now, and I don't have to take advice if I don't want to - even if that advice might, in your opinion, make my life easier, make me thinner, make me happier, or make me a better parent. I'm not telling you to never open your mouth and make suggestions - this the rightful purvue of any loving family member or friend. But, if after several tries, I do not appear to be taking your advice, it is not because I didn't hear you the first, second, and third time. You are no longer offering your wisdom, you are nagging. I probably have a different opinion about what it is you are suggesting and it's possible (though, after this post, you may think it unlikely) that I am trying to be polite and refrain from pointing out everything that is patently wrong with your idea. Don't push it!
---------------------------
Okay, all better now. Thank you for indulging me. Now that that is off my chest and I have told everyone to get over themselves, I will go back to trying to get over myself.
---------------------------
Disclaimer: If you are one of the lucky individuals who just finished reading this rant, please do not be offended. I doubt that it was directed at any of you. Those to whom it was directed have never, and I'm 99.9% sure won't ever read this post, which is why I put it here. I just needed to vent.
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3 Comments:
Wow! That is some vent. I was just about to send you an email with a question that I need answered in five minutes, an eiffel tower model for you to assemble for Valentine's Day and a 10 page, hand-written letter consisting largely of advice. Whew! After reading the disclaimer, knowing now the post was not directed at me, I will proceed as normal. I will give you one piece of advice: Have a G & T tonight.
Friday, February 08, 2008
If it's good advice and you get it down the road sometime, and the light goes on and you think to yourself, "Wow, that's great advice", it may be that you will forget the person who tried to tell you years before and credit the new one. It's ok. If it's Godly advice, He will get the glory anyway. It happens. Dad Friday
Friday, February 08, 2008
This is a heck of a rant.
I know you're onto something with the email. I wish (a) more moms got that, (b) I got it (c) I would just pick up the phone for crying out loud.
Regarding "assembly required," I definitely think you get those gifts it's a sign that people think you are interested in/capable of assembling them. Thnk of it as a compliment, not a chore.
That said, I don't envy you the chore.
PS: It would be weird if you started replying to emails in a timely manner. I can usually anticipate a barrage of replies to lame-ass B-Family emails a week later than everyone else got around to replying.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
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