An Open Letter to My Husband

Dear One,

There's no need to review the grim circumstances of last night. We both know what happened.

I suppose it was inevitable, but I had begun to hope we'd never have to go through this. Now we have, and nothing will ever be the same.

With no small amount of anxiety, I look to you to perform the solemn duty of protector.

If you're willing and able to make it so--alas I cannot help at all!--this will be an isolated incident. A dirty chapter in the otherwise happy story we're writing here.

With all the vigor and energy you can muster, defend me! If you suspect anything, suppress your suspcisions. Avert my eyes. Discard the evidence. Trap, kill, bury, poison. Leave no stone unturned, no garbage bin unsealed, no corner neglected in your battle to keep the horrid little rodents away!

If you love me, I will never dig through another garbage can where a bundle of frozen fur lies inert at the bottom.

If you love me, you will do this for me.

Your own otherwise fearless,
Kate