Same job, different uniform.

Monday, October 31, 2005

"Positive energy"

I noticed there hadn't been an entry in a few days, so I was going to share today's entry from my blog. But girlfriday beat me to the punch. Great photo! It's amazing how cute the Day of the Devil can look, eh fam? (there was a smiley face here, but it has since been revoked ... insert happy thought instead!). Can't wait for nephew-adoring festivities to commence this evening.

Well, I'll share anyway. Here it is:

Due to the influx of negatively oriented individuals I've been acquainted with over the years, "being positive" is now second nature to me. (Not to say I'm a bubbly person with no "down" moments; I just see the silver lining, etc.)

But lately I've begun to feel a noticeable energy drain from the positivity. I love that I'm not as pessimistic as I was when I was young. Sometimes, however, I wish I would have come about it honestly. That is, just matured into a well-adjusted adult instead of being forced into rose-colored glasses only to keep my sanity around "woe-is-me" roommates, co-workers, etc.

I now know that people who begin sentences with "I hate it when" or end them with "just my luck!" are undeniably self-centered. Not self-centered in the way of putting themselves above others (in fact, they often berate themselves and are willing to do a LOT for their friends). Self-centered in that what occupies 99% of their thoughts is THEM: "Why didn't he say 'hi' to me?" "Nobody ever remembers my name!" " of course my car broke down..." "My hair looks like crap, but thanks for lying" -- you get the idea.

For Christians, the problem runs even deeper than self-centeredness. It goes directly to lack of faith -- lacking faith that God made you the way you are so you have worth, that He wants good things for you and DOES bless you on a fairly consistent basis.

I have melancholy tendencies (just ask my fam). So the positive thing has been a conscious decision for me, almost like a survival tactic. And I love the results. I'm more content, less worrisome and have tapped farther into faith. It's become effortless. But when I'm face-to-face with the negativo types (as described above), I kick into over-drive, bending over backward to keep the glass half-full. And then it becomes not so effortless, which is when I feel the drain.

There's probably no real solution to this. I will keep "fighting the good fight" around those with furrowed brows ... or occasionally give in to the temporary mysery. But the truth of it is being negative zaps way more energy than choosing to be content.

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