Same job, different uniform.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

"When you wake up feeling old. . . "

I received an e-mail today from a friend with whom I graduated high school, and attached to it was a picture of the first baby she delivered on her own at her new job as a labor and delivery nurse.

Good for her.

I'm the same age as her and still in my Junior year of college. And at a community college this semester, to boot.

To my credit, my friend lived at home all through out her college career and had her education paid for by her parents, so she was able to finish in the standard four year time frame. I've had to take time off here and there to either gain residency in this great state or earn the money to put myself through school.

So she's delivering babies at her job, and I'm changing diapers at mine. She's probably getting decent sized paychecks each month, and I'm trying to decide where my next $30 should go: to finishing up repairs on my brakes in my car so I can get a warranty on them? to paying off bills left over from my old apartment with my former roommate? or to getting health insurance for myself, which I won't need once I'm back at the University next semester.

I spend my days taking care of little ones then return home at night to an 85-year-old man, who has all his faculties, yet still manages to be less competent than the kids I babysit.

I try to dismiss the resentment that I sometimes feel brewing in me by reminding myself of what a sense of accomplishment I will feel once I'm completed with the education I've supported myself through.

But some days, like today, it's not so easy to remind myself of this. Not only do I not see a light at the end of the tunnel, I'm not even sure the tunnel ever ends.

Good times.

But at least it's November next week which means "The O.C." will be back with new episodes. It's the small things.

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Blogger girlfriday said...

Every mother of every baby you've held, cooed at, cleaned up, and suffered anxiety dreams about thanks you.

Friday, October 28, 2005


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