Same job, different uniform.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS

If you've been wondering how to behave when you're in public, this post is for you! Contrary to the nagging voice of your conscience, and possibly your mother, it is entirely appropriate that you:

One. Leave your shopping carts in the middle of the road, jacked up on the side of the planter or in the handicap parking space.

(The front of the store is at least a yard away.)

Two. Sift distractedly through the racks while chanting: "Devon. Devon. Devon, I'm serious. Stop it. Devon. Stop it, Devon. Devon. Stop it. Devon. Right now. Devon. Knock it off. I'm serious this time. Devon!"

(You're his parent, and you have the right to be a disaster.)

Three. Leave your item from the frozen food section next to the Grape Nuts.

(The frozen food section is at least a yard away.)

Four. Try on limitless amounts of clothing in the aisles and leave them on the floor if they don't fit.

(Your arm is tired.)

Five. Speak in loud tones on your cell phone.

(You're very interesting.)

Six. Shove me if I'm in your way.

(I shouldn't have been standing there.)


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3 Comments:

Blogger Julie said...




You're right. There's a lot of good shoppers out there.

Monday, December 19, 2005

 
Blogger Gavriel said...




Have you been spying on me? How do you know all this?

I should say, though, that I don't usually leave it directly in the MIDDLE of the handicapped space but spanning the line dividing them. That way I don't completely disable either space but spread the burden out equally between them. Besides, they don't need room to open the front passenger door because they probably can use some sort of wheelchair ramp out the back, so what's the problem?

Great stuff. I can see how the UN post could remind you of Devon's mom. Classic.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

 
Blogger girlfriday said...




Impressed that you made the connection.

Poor Devon.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

 

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