Same job, different uniform.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Love is, and is not.

I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately, and while I doubt I have any definitive answers to any of the usual questions, I’m sure I have a fairly good grasp on what love is…and what it is not. For those of the feminine persuasion, please reverse all personal pronouns.

Love is wanting her nearby always, even if that means sitting across the room and catching glances in passing.

Love is not sex.

Love is the deep-seated desire to make the world a little nicer, smile a little more and generally behave a little better just because you feel so happy and lucky.

Love is not doing something for someone who cannot be bothered to do it herself.

Love is the sure knowledge that her well-being is far more important to you than your own.

Love is not therapy.

Love is knowing beyond the shred of a doubt that she is the most beautiful woman in the world – and that no-one else remotely places second.

Love is not “constructive criticism.”

Love is that catch in your breath when you hear her voice and are waiting for her to enter the room.

Love is not something done “for your own good.”

Love is seeing the faults but respecting the whole.

Love is not guilt.

Obviously, the list can be much longer, and I expect that those of you onboard the good ship girlfriday have your own ideas. I’d admire to hear them.

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Blogger Sky said...

love is loving the faults in that person instead of loving in spite of them.
love is knowing that through the hardest trials you will have trust and strength in each other.
love is not dating.
love is being happy doing anything with that person, not just suitably happy but truly, smiling-can't-stop, wouldn't-want-to-be-anywhere-else HAPPY!
love is changing your life to make someone elses happy.
love is prayer.
love is smiling at the tired check-out lady even though the words she just muttered about the coupon fisted woman in front of you weren't nice!
love is hard but so easy.

love is a favorite subject of mine!

"love's the only house big enough for all the pain in the world."

Meaning love in it's true form of our own afterglow of Christ's love for us.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Blogger Sky said...

I wanted to be more specific on the "not dating" thing, what I meant was no one night stands.

The phrase "go on a date" seems to have taken on a whole new meaning for "have sex and never see each other again."

Friday, January 13, 2006

Blogger girlfriday said...

I've been thinking a lot about love, too.

My brother says, very simply, that love is a verb.

A book I have been reading insists that in our enlightened age we generally think of love as "making much of someone." The proper way, the author posits, of loving someone is to want and do the best for them. Then we tend to disagree on "the best." But I think love is generally doing what is best for them, which is sometimes (a) leaving them alone (b) doing something at great cost to yourself (c) never, ever giving up on them.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Blogger girlfriday said...

A lovely post, by the way.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Blogger girlfriday said...

Mist: Excellent point. I think what Snarky was disputing was the careless way sex is handled, as if somehow the sex act was love embodied, while nothing else, like marriage, was needed to complete it.

But we can let Snarky explain himself if he likes.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Blogger Unknown said...

Too often, people say that they are in love when what they mean is that they want to have sex. I am fine with your point, mist, that sex within a marriage is very important for any number of reasons. And while it is an act ordained by God, sex is not necessarily solumn, sacred or much of anything else sometimes, other than a lot of fun. That being said, sex is still not love even then.

And I am well aware of the Song of Solomon, having spent a fair amount of my time as an altarboy in the Episcopal Church as a lad, carefully perusing that poem and trying not to embarrass myself during the services.

Saturday, January 14, 2006


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