It sucks being unforgiven.

If you have ever been slighted, victimized, or otherwise wounded and you have felt justified in not forgiving the perpetrator, watch the movie "Atonement."

Those of us who have been hurt in life by another human being usually feel it is our right to carry it around, wear it on our sleeve, complain about, pull it out and show it off. Often we don't feel obligated to forgive the sin, however.

But it really does suck to be unforgiven. It can ruin the life of the unforgiven as surely as their victim may feel it ruined theirs. And the unforgiven don't usually have anyone to turn to for sympathy like the victim does. No one dries their tears at night. No one holds them up when they slump under the weight of their crime.

I would say that victims probably assume that a victimizer is unrepentant and thus doesn't deserve to be forgiven. But I know people who have tried to apologize and recieved no absolution. Their victim knows they are sorry, woefully and painfully aware of their faults and their crime and the penance they will do. But their pleas are like water poured into the wind.