Same job, different uniform.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

"He wore paisley, people."

Here's a really funny article from the Washington Post on why American Idol voters are complete idiots for voting off Chris Daughtry:

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"The departure of rocker Chris Daughtry from "American Idol" means that the squishy middle has won once again. Daughtry was voted off the show this week, leaving behind three uninspired performers who may appeal to the masses but lack any distinctive personal style.

Daughtry glared. He glowered. He did the rock-star growl during which he looked to be at risk of popping his jugular. He wore cool shades. Oh sure, he was cocky. But he should have been. He was the best. America, have you no soul?

Yamin seems like a nice guy. He has a nice voice and he wears a lot of tasteful blazers, which should serve him well should he ever find himself sitting in the human resources office of an insurance agency. McPhee seems like a pleasant girl. She has a pleasant voice. She's a brunette beauty with long legs and nice cleavage -- that she has amiably displayed -- which should all serve her well . . . no matter what. Last month, when Hicks wore that ice-blue Costume National suit, it seemed he had style possibilities. He refused to dye his gray hair and he has an interesting gravelly voice. But then he wore a paisley shirt, sang Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music" and writhed on the floor like a Joe Cocker impersonator. He wore paisley, people. He cannot win and he will be discussed no further.

It may be that Daughtry was done in by the system. To attract voters, the contestants must be desperately humble. Aw shucks, pick me! Love me! They must display a freeze-frame grin for the camera and then flail their fingers around like they're practicing Chisanbop to remind viewers of which number to call to cast their vote. Winning "American Idol" requires the perfect balance of mediocrity and humility. The better the voice, the style, the package, the more self-effacing the performer must be. Whoever heard of a humble rocker? Daughtry was doomed.

Now that he's gone, there is a choice of nice Elliott, pleasant Katharine and the paisley karaoke king who shall not be named. As so often is the case, the quality of the candidates makes it hard to go to the polls."

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Here, here! If it's McPhee and Hicks in the final two, I'll vomit. I'd say I won't watch the finale, but I don't think I have that kind of self-control. But I won't enjoy it. How can I watch the rest of this season without Chris? He was supposed to win.

He was supposed to win.

But he's not going to, so it has to be Elliot.

You hear me, people? It has to be Elliot. When voting next week just remember seeing Kat standing next to Chris as they called Chris's name. It was between Kat and Chris, and Kat stayed.

I'm all for an guys-only finale. The last exciting finale was Ruben vs. Clay. Diana Degarmo making it to the top two opposite Fantasia was just a joke, and Bo and Carrie both had boring, mediocre performances on their last night of performing. If Elliot and Taylor can make it exciting, I'm all for that.

As long as Elliot wins.

"He wore paisley, people."


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14 Comments:

Blogger Tracy said...




What is this person talking about? In our house, my husband is for Hicks (says he's the only truly unique one up there) and I'm for McPhee (because she has that mesmerizing "it factor"). I want Elliot off - I did enjoy Chris though.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

 
Blogger Bobulah said...




i agree, tracy, that taylor hicks is unique. but in the same way that michael bolton is unique. there is no one else like either of them, and that's a really, really good thing. except, oh wait, there IS someone just like taylor hicks. and his name is michael mcdonald. come on, do you really want the best wedding singer in all of new jersey to win idol? and katharine is simply a mess. her performances keep getting more and more desperate because she can't quite get a grasp on who she is as an artist. elliott, on the other hand, knows exactly who he is and what works for him. his song selection relects that. he has been consistent, kept his eyes and ears open and actually learned how to perform. he's now edgy, smooth, sexy, and going to win the whole freaking thing---against all odds. it's the greatest from behind story in the show's five year run, and it makes for some excellent television.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

 
Blogger Bubblehead said...




DeGarmo Power forever! (I couldn't stand her...)

Saturday, May 13, 2006

 
Blogger ihearttexas said...




whomever you are bobulah, I so agree! And doesn't American love a good underdog story? It has to be Elliot. It has to be. I liked Katherine, but she's getting worse. I thought "manic" was such a perfect that Simon used to describe her first performance last week. I love that Elliot might win. It's the only good thing to come from Chris getting booted too early.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

 
Blogger Lois E. Lane said...




Sad to say, but Taylor will still get tons of votes from his Soul Patrol. I don't know how Chris' votes will split from here on out, but we can assume they'll be divvied among the men. And I'm sorry, but I still like McPhee. I'll be happy for her or Elliott (I'll be happy for Taylor too, just not as).

Monday, May 15, 2006

 
Blogger Tracy said...




Wait a minute, "bobulah" ...did you just call Elliot sexy!!! Because of that, I am sorry to say that I cannot consider your American Idol opinion. Up until that moment, I was listenin'. :)

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

 
Blogger girlfriday said...




Cute? Would you settle for cute?

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

 
Blogger Grim Reality Girl said...




It has to be McPhee. Taylor Hicks is just a bad Michael McDonald as aptly stated by bobulah. Elliot is plain creepy. We are not talking star quality with either of them. Chris should not have left, but Hicks and Elliot have no business lingering... Make the bad men stop.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

 
Blogger Snarky the Moonbat said...




Dear God. I must be the only person in These United States who neither knows who any of these people are nor cares remotely.
American Idol is the Ted Mack Amateur Hour without animal acts, plate spinners and people who can fart and belch on command and in tune.

Can't we just agree that none of this lot ought to be on TV in any shape, form or manifestation, and return to watching the NBA playoffs?

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

 
Blogger Tracy said...




Elliot is cute? ... that's still pusin' it. :) He does nothin' for me - in voice, performance, or appearance.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

 
Blogger Lois E. Lane said...




Snarky, if you don't know (or oh-so-nobly care) who these three people are, perhaps -- just perhaps -- it is unrealistic of you to compare their talents to plate-spinning dogs. Then again, we pop-culture underlings may be too easily entertained. If only there were a way for us to be both intelligent and updated on pop culture, but alas, it appears we can't.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

 
Blogger girlfriday said...




See, now, I thought that was funny, Mz. Lane!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

 
Blogger Lois E. Lane said...




I didn't say it wasn't funny :) Just as taste and enjoyment of pop culture are not mutually exclusive, neither are pretension and humor. Snarky, you are very funny.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

 
Blogger girlfriday said...




Looking.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

 

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