Let's Dust Off the Mental Cobwebs

...and see if we can help a reader.

She writes:

Please list some short dumb games that a high school/college youth group would enjoy during stages of a progressive dinner. I can offer some fabulous prizes, at under $4 each. None of them see this blog, so I am hoping to look totally brilliant through your aid.

There is always the classic fallback: adhesive nametags of famous people/characters on everyone's back. They can only try to figure out who they are through yes or no questions. Something pop culture-ish would make it relevant (I think), but especially funny would be names of people the kids know.

Post your ideas!!!! We were teenagers once.

I think I have a problem.

Beautiful dreams

My husband likes to accuse me of hating Peanuts (and apple pie, chevrolet and puppies) because I once said that the comic strip in the Sunday edition wasn't very funny. He forgets that I love the holiday specials and think the "early" Peanuts stuff was brilliant.

Last night, my busy little brain created an incredibly beautiful scenario. Some stranger was selling reams of antique wrapping paper (it was a dream, people). You should have seen this stuff. She wanted $250 for all of it, but would sell it in portions.

There was an especially memorable batch of Peanuts wrapping paper. Light and delicate, it felt like crepe. The background was blue and Lucy, with the blackest hair and the reddest hat you've ever seen, was on a swing. It was snowing.

I dreamt up a bunch of wrapping paper.

And it was about Peanuts.

Take that, husband.

girlfriday: Things they won't say about me when I'm gone

She had the patience of Job.

She wore the same shoes all the time.

She never cared how she looked.

I never heard a word of complaint come out of her mouth.

She was a slow, courteous driver.

Humility was one of her virtues.

She was so shy.

She hated to try something new.

She always backed away from a fight.

She never smiled.

Whatever else you can say about her, at least she was punctual.

Big Day at the girlfriday Household

My husband is switching phone carriers and we are upgrading our phones.

Does anyone have Verizon?

If so, do you have any feedback on your LG phone? We are looking at a couple of models. Any feedback would be helpful!

ADDED: Proud new owner

Bananas in the Freezer

I freeze my too-ripe bananas because freezing old bananas is what you're supposed to do with old bananas. That's what "they" do.

Now I have a bunch of frozen bananas in my freezer.

What in the world do you do with frozen bananas?

Comma Sense

I have comma trouble.

You, see, I, apparently, really, really, really, like commas.

I've found a couple of online pages that help with correct placement, but I thought I'd see see if any of you (of course the copywriter in the bunch is coming to mind, cough, cough, Lois.) have any tips on how to remember comma rules. Because I think they'd help with my other problem:

I. Really. Really. Like fragmented sentences. Have you noticed that?

While we're on the subject, let's talk semicolons; I'm already salivating in anticipation of our upcoming dialogue!

I am Ross.

Help a Girl Out

What's the good of a blog if you can't ask for help from your readers from time to time?

There are a couple of things I'm looking for:
1. Does anyone have any good resources for large-print books? I'd like to find Harry Potter in large print as well as the Trinity Hymnal (yes, both of these). Anything you know about a good place to buy books where the print is enlarged for the seeing-impaired would be really helpful.
2. I'd like to find an aerobics DVD that someone has used and actually recommends. It would be nice to have something to pop in in the mornings to get a little workout ("little" = 20 minute sessions or so).

Email me or put something in the comments if you can help me on either of these.

Thanks gang.

ADDED: How do I get rid of these annoying white borders on my gifs? Deleting "border=0" doesn't do it.

I'm writing this before I'm writing what I'm going to write next, which will be better.

This guy blogs in Boise on the RE market all the time. I mean, a lot, in my opinion, for a working agent.

And this time he's singing the praises of flood insurance.

So run out and get it. Go insure yourself up the wazoo.

Then after you get some water in your house, chat with some people who've been screwed by Ye Old Insurance Agencies because flood insurance only covers you if, drum roll please, water comes IN YOUR FRONT DOOR OR THROUGH YOUR UPPER WINDOWS.

Insurance Magnate: "Let's say that the damages were due to seepage. Then we won't have to pay."

Other Insurance Dude: "Exceeellllent."

But Combined with My Husband, I have a 105% Chance

45%

Do you know how to use a gun, a bat or, most importantly, your head?

PS: That graphic should read "45% chance." But you can't read it. The HTML is flawed. I guess.*

PSS: When I first typed that sentence, it said "But you can't read." But you can, which is why you're here.

The World's Fastest Flying Toyota

That's what I own.

My Toyota Rav4 cruised to victory in a race for the title of fastest automobile in the world. We started on the road, but in this race, we leave the road and orbit into space. We brushed the moon and returned to earth to finish. It was touch and go at the end, but I really pushed it and inched ahead at the last moment. The Hummer, the only other car in the race, was, I thought, remote-controlled, but afterwards the drivers congratulated me.

Everyone congratulated me. Especially the men. Admiring glances everywhere I looked.

Me and my black Toyota ("That's how I did it," I told everyone. "It's a Toyota."), which was dirty and covered in snow and ice, won the biggest race in history.

You had to know. I went to my computer to google the story so I could link back to it here on my blog. I got distracted by a former roommate who was picking out our clothes (dresses for everyone else, and jeans for me out of spite).

Then I woke up.

Milestone.

I can now pull my hair into a ponytail.

I Haven't Offended You in a While

So I'm due.

Overheard by me; mumbled-sung by my husband as he zipped up his Roma sweater; to the tune of America courtesy of Westside Story.

Roma, you beautiful city
That's why it's such a pity

Always you have the graffiti
And the drunkards pee-pee

And the crazies screaming
And the pick-pockets teeming

That's some sweet music people.

Whenever I say your name, let there be no mistakethat day will last forever

For thinking, for humming, for singing to yourself about God.
Courtesy of those great theologians Mary J. Blige and Sting.*

Whenever I say your name, whenever I call to mind your face
Whatever bread's in my mouth, whatever the sweetest wine that I taste
Whenever your memory feeds my soul, whatever got broken becomes whole
Whenever I'm filled with doubts that we will be together

Wherever I lay me down, wherever I put my head to sleep
Whenever I hurt and cry, whenever I got to lie awake and weep
Whenever I kneel to pray, whenever I need to find a way
I'm calling out your name

Whenever those dark clouds hide the moon
Whenever this world has gotten so strange
I know that something's gonna change
Something's gonna change

Whenever I say your name, I'm already praying,
I'm already filled with a joy that I can't explain
Wherever I lay me down, wherever I rest my weary head to sleep
Whenever I hurt and cry, whenever I got to lie awake and weep
Whenever I'm on the floor
Whatever it was that I believed before
Whenever I say your name, whenever I say it loud, I'm already praying

Whenever this world has got me down, whenever I shed a tear
Whenever the TV makes me mad, whenever I'm paralyzed with fear
Whenever those dark clouds fill the sky, whenever I lose the reason why
Whenever I'm filled with doubts that we will be together

Whenever the sun refuse to shine, whenever the skies are pouring rain
Whatever I lost I thought was mine whenever I close my eyes in pain
Whenever I kneel to pray, whenever I need to find a way
I'm calling out your name

Whenever this dark begins to fall
Whenever I'm vulnerable and small
Whenever I feel like I could die
Whenever I'm holding back the tears that I cry

Whenever I say your name,
No matter how long it takes,
One day we'll be together

Whenever I say your name,
let there be no mistake
that day will last forever

*This version stinks. Buy the real thing for 99c on iTunes. It's a thing of beauty.

Man, You can Win Anything These Days

Our friends in North Idaho sent this. Not only is the video a hoot, amazingly, if they get enough votes, their hospital will WIN an MRI machine. When can we play WinACamry?

"Our local hospital is in a contest to win an MRI machine, which is very much needed in our small community. It takes public voting to determine the winner. You can vote once a day every day until 12/31/07. Please spread the word.

Help us win the MRI by going to this website and voting for Boundary Community Hospital. Go to http://www.winanmri.com/.

Wait for the short video to load, and then you can cast your vote. You can go back to the site every day to vote again.

Thank you for your time."

When I first got this email, the hospital in Bonners Ferry was in fourth place, but now its around eighth , but "if everyone goes to this site and votes once a day we will have a great shot at winning."

They're the only Idaho hospital in the running. Let's help ! Vote, and then post this on your site, if you have one. Click here.

girlfriday: while I should be working

I don't get tired of these stories. I really don't.

Not just one, but more than a dozen huge creatures can be seen churning across Lake Kanasi in remote western China, leaving a foamy wake more like an enormous motorboat than a big fish.

Filed Under: I Wish

You are Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice. You are intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive. You have a good head on your shoulders, and oftentimes find yourself the lone beacon of reason in a sea of silliness. You take great pleasure in many things. You are proficient in nearly all of them, though you will never own it. Lest you seem too perfect, you have a tendency toward prejudgement that serves you very ill indeed.

Take the Quiz here

The End of One Thing, the Beginning of Another

Though I want to be posting about more important things, namely my reflections on marriage, tonight's powerful episode of House and the celebration of my 1 month anniversary, I choose the trivial instead.

Julie got me started.*

Most…
Disappointing teenage angst movie: Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Satisfying teenage angst movie: Some Kind of Wonderful
Overlooked Tom Hanks film: Joe versus the Volcano
Overlooked Sylvester Stallone movie: Oscar
Overlooked Action Movie: Con Air

Best...
Anti-Commie Movie: The Hunt for Red October (Tied with Red Dawn)
Movie Where Famous Actor Breaks Into Song and it’s a Surprise but not a Disappointment : Moulin Rouge
Steve Zahn Movie: Happy, Texas
Gender-Bending Movie: Some Like it Hot
Movie for Watching with Expectations Created by False Marketing: The Upside of Anger
Superhero Movie: Batman and Spider-Man are tied. Forever
Movie that Launched the Best TV Series: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Kevin Costner Movie: Field of Dreams
Worst Superhero Movie: Supergirl

*She stole most of the good ones.

I saw my fox again.

And it was a cat. Deceitful little bugger, what with its bushy auburn tail.

Once, on the Interstate, I saw a dead lion.

"I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son"

Is that not one of the greatest opening lines to a song?